A lady is having problem with her live in boyfriend on 121^st: Around 9:51 p.m., a distraught lady in the 1200 block of East 121^st Street, called and reported that her live-in boyfriend was acting a fool and ya’ll need to come get his butt. A car went out to cool things down between these two angry love birds on Easter Sunday.

Columbus 

Crime of the week:

Bank told the robber to take off that “hoodie or you won’t get a dime”: On Monday, Sept. 19, 2011, at about 4:53 pm., a dude wearing a baseball cap and his face fully covered by a hoodie came into the Western Credit Union on Georgesville Road, and told the teller to give him all of the loot.  The teller told this idiot to pull back his hoodie and take off his cap or she ain’t gonna give him a dime.  Guess what? Dude didn’t go for it and told her to shut the [eff] up and give up the dough.  She did!

Junkie sticks up pharmacy with note demanding drugs: The police are still looking for the junkie that went in the Kroger Pharmacy on Sunbury Road, on March 26, and stuck up the store all while he was shaking like a crap game. The clerk said the dope fiend gave her a poorly written note that demanded specific narcotics and said that he had a gun and would use if he didn’t get what he wanted. After the clerk forked over the prescription drugs the junkie took off running like he had hit the lotto.

Somebody done shot po’ Samson: On March 25, at about 4:30 p.m., a caller in the 3000 block of Medina Avenue, reported that a 32- year-old fella named Samson, had been shot while he was parked in his car waiting in front of the building.  Mr. Sam said the scoundrel who shot him ran, and jumped into a white or silver vehicle.  Hmm, I wonder what was that all about?

The police are looking for Joe Kibby for shooting at a house: On March 31, around 12:24 in the morning, two dudes were watching TV up stairs in a house in the 3000 block of Hiawatha Street, when they heard several gun shots rang out hitting their house. They looked out of the window and seen the rascal Joseph Kibby running down the driveway. They both swore that it was Joe shooting into their house. The cops issued a warrant for gangster Joe.

Three crack heads busted for stealing copper plumbing out of houses: On April 4, around 9 a.m., a neighbor on Spruce Drive, called the Franklin County Sheriff’s Office and reported that three suspicious looking clowns had just entered a vacant house.   All three of these rascals were caught in the action. The cops recovered all the plumbing and charged Odell, Daniel and Chris for breaking and entering into two vacant houses, and stealing all the cooper plumbing – Dumb clucks!

Some nut run over a woman named Diamond with his car: On March 27, at about 7:42 p.m., a caller in the 1400 block of Accommodation Avenue reported that a woman named Diamond and some chump had gotten into a bad argument in the ally on that street.  The caller said that Ms. “D” was partially outside of his car when this nut threw the car in reverse and hit her injuring her leg. Miss Lady was taken to a near-by hospital and treated for her injuries. They are gonna catch that crazy fool!

The police are looking for the hateful thug that shot Davante: On March 30, at 1:30 in the morning, police were called to the corners of Livingston and Courtwright Avenue about an 18-year-old fella named Davante who had been shot in his left shoulder.   “D” reported that some chump pulled up in a black SUV whipped out his pistol and fired two shots at him. Although the shot that hit him caused damage, D ran to a friend’s house, called the police and got some help. He was treated at an area hospital and released. “D” said he don’t who in the hell would want to shoot him.

Dope fiend robs another Kroger drug store, this time on N. High Street: On April 7, at about 2:55 in the after noon and in broad day light, some junkie walked into the Kroger Pharmacy, in the 3400 block of North High street, and gestured like he had a gun, gave the clerk a note telling her that this was stick up for specific narcotics.  The clerk filled a bag with the items that he wrote down and handed them to him. This brazen punk was wearing “Buckeyes” hoodie strolled out of the store.  I’ll bet that this is the same bold butt hole who robbed the other Kroger store on Sunbury back in March.  

Ain’t no excuse, Andrew is just a damn thief: On April 5, around 11 a.m., Sheriff Zach Scott’s boys hauled in a rogue named Andrew Minney, because this chump been breaking in folk’s house like he’s on somthin’. After an investigation they said that Andy has broken into over 14 homes, he is charged with 10 counts of burglary, 5 counts of receiving stolen property, 2 counts of breaking and entering, felony theft, criminal damaging, and stealing somebody’s car. The police are still coming up with other stuff this dude did. All together, this thug has gotten over 26 charges. His azz is truly on the hot seat!

Some thug over on Scottwood Road shot Sara: On March 28, at about 11:53 p.m., a woman named Sara was stopped in her lil’ red Nissan by some raunchy thug as she was driving on Barnett Road. This thug walked up to Sara’s car, pulled out a pistol and she took off, but this ornery dog shot her through the window as she was driving away. Miss Lady drove a few blocks away where she stopped and called the cops. She was taken to a nearby hospital and treated. She is in stable condition.

Cleveland 

A woman in white SUV hit a car on West 25^th and kept going: On April 8, around 9:31 p.m., a very angry motorist, on West 25^th and Clark Avenue, called and reported that some heffa in a white SUV had just hit their car and kept going. They said the hit-skip woman that was driving took off at a high rate of speed in an unknown direction. They need to keep these kind of fools off the street!

Some sucka parked a big white Caddy in front of my driveway: On Easter Sunday April 8, at about 9:35 p.m., somebody driving auh big ol’white Cadillac had the nerve to park it across some folk’s driveway in the 9800 block of Prince Avenue.   About four minutes later the cops arrive and made Mr. Big Bucks move it or get it towed.  You dog-gone tootin!

The front door is wide-open at a house on Adams: At about 9:30  p.m., a concern resident in the 10200 block of  Adams Avenue, called and reported that the front door to a vacant house is standing wide open, ya’ll send a car to check out what is going on inside. A unit was sent out to investigate. Ya’ll know that all kindz of stuff be happing in these empty houses.

Woman needs police to follow her and help get her kids back: On April 8, at about 9:33 p.m., a very pissed off mamma called and reported that she needed a car the follow or escort her over to a house near 41^st Street, to get her kids back. A car was sent to help out this po lil’ lady and to stop her from going off.

Hurry up and get here, the traffic light is out at 130^th and Kinsman: Around 9:42p.m., on April 8, some folks in a panic called and reported that the traffic light was out at East 130^th and Kinsman. Two cars were rushed out before people start slammin’ into each other at this very busy intersection.

Cathy is reporting that this clown ain’t got no business overt there: On April 8, at about 9:45 p.m., a very upset woman named Cathy G. called from a house in the 3100 block of West 56^th Street, and reported that a butt hole was over there causing trouble and she has got a TPO on his behind and he should not be in her house.

A car was sent over to get things straight with Mr. Hard Headed Rascal.

Paul and Tony have road rage and are about to throw down on Gertrude: On April 8, at about 10:01 p.m., two dudes in a road rage at the corner of East 65^th and Gertrude, called the police on cell phones on each other complaining that the other had violated him. A car was rushed out before these two hot heads took it to another level.

Bully’s sister reported that he is beating up his girlfriend: At around 9:47 p.m., an angry dude’s  sister in the 3500 block of East 61^st Street,  called the police and reported that her knucklehead brother was there whipping on his baby’s momma and “dat don’t make no sense.”  A car was rushed out to take care of Mr. Bad Guy, but when they arrived he was GOA, and his sister reneged saying that she didn’t won’t no mo’ trouble.

A lady is having problem with her live in boyfriend on 121^st: Around 9:51 p.m., a distraught lady in the 1200 block of East 121^st Street, called and reported that her live-in boyfriend was acting a fool and ya’ll need to come get his butt. A car went out to cool things down between these two angry love birds on Easter Sunday.

Dude’s nephew and friends beat his butt and took his money: On April 8, around 10:02 pm., an upset uncle in the 1700 block of West 69^th Street, called and reported that his nephew and four of his friends came over to his house, jumped on him and took all of his money, which is robbery.  Unck said that they are all wearing hoodies, driving a black Chevy and they had just left.   Po unck!