Two dudes, six feet tall, with ski masks robbed the Fairweather Café: On Nov. 5, around 3:20 a.m., two big tall dudes, over 6 feet approached the bartender around closing time at the Fairweathers Café

Criminal of the week:

CLEVELAND OHIO

Buck naked, a dude was walking down Glendale Avenuewith a brick – You know this fool was trashed out of his mind and won’t remember the stupid crap he did when he was high – and when they tell him, he’ll say, Whaaaat? On Nov. 10, at 9:42 p.m., several calls were received from neighbors in a tizzy about why some clown was butt naked walking down Glendale, near 144^th Street, with a brick in his hand. Within a few minutes, other calls were received from some people onKingsford Avenue, reporting that they had just seen him. At 9:46 p.m. a car radioed in that they had Mr. Nature Boy in custody.

Cincinnati Ohio

Cops are looking for Mark’s thieving behind for a Larchwood burglary: Detectives are investigating a burglary that occurred on 10/8/12 near the 1800 block ofLarchwood Place.  Wanted for the heist is Markieth Andrews, a 20 year old Black dude whose last known address is in the 5400 block ofNewfield Street.  Andrews and another chump forced their way into a family’s house while they were at work and stole a whole bunch of stuff including numerous electronic items. Markieth frequents the Roselawn area. Anyone with information about this incident or knows the whereabouts of Mark please call crime stoppers at 513 352-3040. 

Kevin Sullivan is a suspect in a check cashing scheme: Oooowe! He knows his “A” is grass when they catch up with him. A rogue, Kevin Sullivan, is involved in a fraudulent check cashing scheme. He has one felony warrant for probation violation out ofWarrenCounty and has six open warrants inHamiltonCounty, with the charges ranging from Theft and Passing Bad Checks to Failure to Comply with a Police Officer.  Ol’ boy is probably back smoking dope again. Please contact Crime Stoppers with any information as to the whereabouts of Mr. Paper Hanger.

Cops bust Jermell Huges for robbing the liquor store in Corryvllie: Way back on Dec. 5, 2011, the Unique Convenience store located at2726 Vine Street, was robbed at gunpoint by two dudes.  An undisclosed amount of cash was taken from the business.  On Oct. 30, 2012, District 4 Investigators arrested Jermell Hughes and charged him with aggravated robbery of the Unique Convenience store.  The arrest was made after investigators obtained a DNA match from the Hamilton County Crime Laboratory.  Would somebody tell this dummy about finger prints and DNA.

Young, light skinned dude was picked up for the B&E Deli robbery: On Oct. 19, 2012, the Cincy Deli located at 2832 Jefferson Avenue, in Corryville was broken into.  A young, light skin Black dude with a neatly trimmed mustache and goatee robbed the spot for an undisclosed amount of cash and property and fled from the business, but a surveillance camera caught this nut on tape and the cops are looking for his dumb butt.   If you know something, say something and call Crime Stoppers.   

Wendell got his self in a hot mess and he’s wanted for felonious assault: Cincinnati detectives are currently investigating a Felonious Assault offense which occurred 8/21/12 near the 7600 block of Reading Rd. Wanted for this offense is Wendell Corke, a Black fella, 45 years old, with a last known address in the upscale Pleasant Ridge area. Wendell cut his victim multiple times about the face, head and arm with a knife, causing the victim serious injuries.  Please help the cops find this fool because he is dangerous and he might be smoking.

Baldheaded dude in green tee shirt swiped a computer from hospital: The Cincinnati Police Department is attempting to identify a dude in a surveillance video tape seen getting in an elevator right after the damn rogue swiped a computer at the hospital. This dude stole a laptop computer from Tri-Health Medical Building, in Old Bethesda Hospital on Oak Street.  If anyone has any information, please contact Crime Stoppers at 513-352-3040.

Cortez Sloan robbed the Domino Pizza delivery driver on McGregor: On Sept. 25, 2012, at approximately 11:50 p.m., a Domino's delivery person was robbed at 227 McGregor Avenue. At least two rogues were involved in the robbery. The two crooks smashed the pizza man in his head, punched and choked him. The crooks drew a knife during the attack.  The chumps ran after they took dude’s wallet.  One of the idiots dropped his wallet, leaving all his personal information – Busted! On October 3, the Fugitive Apprehension Unit arrested Cortez Sloan in the 100 block of Malvern Place. Police are still trying to identify his accomplice. Sloan is gonna tell because he doesn’t want to eat all that time by himself. It’s snitching time.

Cleveland Ohio

Damn! Ashley done punched her baby’s daddy in his face again:On Nov. 10, at about 10:09 p.m., a woman, Ashley Lewis, who lives in the 15100 block of Florida Avenue, called in and admitted that she had argued with her baby’s daddy after he wouldn’t leave her house, and then she punched that sucka right in his face. She realized what she had done was wrong and had called the police on herself – She then called back trying to cancel the complaint.  O’ hell no, ready or not, here they come for her behind.     

Minnie called the cops on her brother who is at her house acting a fool: I’ll bet he’ll get his crazy acting butt out of her house when the police get there! Around 9:43 p.m., on Nov. 10, a woman, Minnie, who lives in the 1000 block of East 111^th Street, called in and reported that her brother was at her house, arguing like hell, clowning and causing some drama. A car was sent out before Miss Sister Girl just lost it and clocked out on bro-man.

The folks downstairs are causing drama and making threats: Damn! In the words of that great orator, Rodney King, “Can’t we all get along?” Around 9:41 p.m., on Nov. 10, a family who lives on East 124^th Street, called in and reported that the crazy acting folks downstairs are making threats, and creating some drama which is giving them a headache.  Would ya’ll please send somebody out before somebody gets hurt? A car was sent out to straighten out the mess between the Hatfields and McCoys.

What’s up with these idiots setting off fireworks this time of night: On Nov.10, around 9:42 p.m., an annoyed neighbor in the 1400 block of West 81^st Street, called in and reported that some fool was setting of fireworks from the second floor of the building across the street. A car was sent out to tell those idiots this ain’t the 4^th of July.   

Dude with braids is driving an Escalade and shooting up in the air: Around 9:57 p.m., on Nov. 10, there were several complaints that came in from residents in the 3600 block of East 131^st Street, who called in and reported that there was some nut that had just driven down the street in a silver Caddy Escalade, with chrome 24s, and he was firing a pistol up in the air like he’s crazy. Minutes later, a dude named David called in and said that he knew who the driver is and the trouble had started at his house. Several cars were sent out to see if they could slow Mr. Big Stuff’s role and stop him from acting a fool.

I can hear some fool in a PT Cruiser playing his music way too loud: On Nov. 10, around 10:04 p.m., a very agitated resident in the 36600 block of East 57^th Street, called in and reported that they could hear some fool playing the music in a PT Cruiser from damn near two streets away. A car was sent out to see if they could not locate Old boy and make him turn it down or turn it off.   

They think some rogue just broke into the Morning Star Bap. Church: At 10:07 p.m., on Nov.10 an alarm company called in and reported that the alarm had just signaled them that there was somebody who had just entered the music room at the Morning Star Baptist Church onShaker Boulevard. A car was sent out to check out just what was going on in Pastor Earl’s church.

Columbus Ohio

Rotten thugs forced the overhead door open at Capital City Services: Back on Sept. 11, at about 5:30 p.m., a couple of thugs forced open the overhead door of the Capital City Services Company on Performance Parkway.  Once inside, they ransacked the place and kicked in other office doors, stealing tools, a power washer and other miscellaneous items.  They were both caught on camera and are described as White dudes in their mid-20s, or early 30s with crew cut hairstyles.  Sounds like two crack heads breaking into a place and stealing to get high, but be on the lookout and if you know something, say something and call Crime Stoppers (614) 645-8477.   

A hard uppercut would have made this thug change his mind:  On Oct. 23, around 1:23 p.m., Anthony Jones got into a serious argument with a dude who was riding with him near Town Street and Plato Place. During the argument the passenger pulled out something sharp and stuck Anthony several time in the stomach which ended Jones’ desire to continue the argument and fight.  I think this dude’s aggression would have fell short with a good hard uppercut to the chin, but maybe Jonsey picked this rascal up for some other reason. Something sounds fishy about this whole thing because the suspect’s name isn’t even mentioned. Cops are asking – if you know something, say something.

After three months, theft ring is busted for stealing chrome rims and tires:Oooowe! I know some of the brothers who had their rims and tires stolen had to have been plenty salty.  On Nov.9, around 11:14 a.m., the cops pulled a raid on some chumps that had been stealing hot-looking rims and tires from some of the flashy rides rolling around town.  The cops said that the thieves got greedy, which lead cops right to their doorstep, which netted cash and stolen property. Charged with RSP were Donald Blake, Joey Fisher, Robert Nichols, and a woman named Ruth Martin. Bye ya’ll!

Some low down bastard shot Bruce in his left leg for nothing: On Nov. 10, at 6:22 p.m., Bruce Newby drove into the Abbie Lake apartments on Martha Jane Place, and when he got out of his shinny gray Chevy Impala, some low down bastard walked up started shooting and shot him in his leg allegedly for no known reason whatsoever. Bruce said there wasn’t any words exchanged, this wasn’t a stick-up and he can’t figure why in the hell dude wanted to shoot him. Cops are looking for this maniac to try and get to the bottom of this whole thing. Good Luck!

Polite thug thanked his victim for the cash after sticking him up: I’ll be damned if this dude ain’t got the nerve of a brass “A” monkey.  On Oct. 22, at around 6:30 p.m., a man pulled up to the ATM machine at Chase Bank on Morse Crossing Road, and a chump walked up and got in the front passenger seat. The rogue pulled out a knife and made ol’ boy withdraw additional cash from the machine, drive a few blocks away, asked him to pull over and he got out. But before the dude exited the car, he smiled and thanked him as he got out. The victim said the robber was a lil’ round stout White man with a snowy white beard. I wonder if it was?   Huuuuuum! 

Some fool done shot Tray at the First & Ten Bar on Maize Road: On Nov. 4, a big fight occurred at the First Ten Bar over onMaize Road. During the argument, a dude pulled out a pistol and shot 21-year-old Traver Walker in his stomach. Tray said he ain’t got a clue what the dude’s name is, but somebody in the bar knows something. Traver was taken to a nearby hospital and treated for his injury. Cops are asking anyone who knows something about this to step up and say something, or call Crime stoppers at (614) 645 8744.   

Two dudes, six feet tall, with ski masks robbed the Fairweather Café: On Nov. 5, around 3:20 a.m., two big tall dudes, over 6 feet approached the bartender around closing time at the Fairweathers Café on Trabue Road, flashed a pistol and told him to ‘gimme the loot,’ and ‘you don’t say nothing, it won’t be nothing.’ Both were wearing ski masks and black hoodies. They hit the bartender with a baseball bat, tied him up, took some liquor and the cash and took off.   There was no camera, no photos and no known suspects. The cops are looking for these two ornery cusses who made the heist.