Read the latest Police Blotter

Criminal of the week:

Columbus

Yep! Cops posed as pizza delivery men and surprise-surprise: Can you imagine the look on these two fools’ faces when they went to rob the pizza delivery man and found out it was the police. Oh snap! Surprise, surprise. Last year there were a string of robberies on pizza delivery drivers when they were called to a vacant house on Wrexham Avenue. One night, an alert  pizza deliver guy flagged down some cops and said that he thought he was being set up for a robbery. The cops switched things around and rode in as the pizza guy, lo-and-behold, out came two thugs. One got shot in his leg and the other chump just put his hands in the air and gave up posing no resistance. Now eat that! 

Cleveland

Shirley came home and found her bedroom window wide open: What in the hell is going on in there?  I know I closed all my windows! On Dec.4, around 7:20 a.m., a woman named Shirley, who lives in the Cliffview Road area, returned home and found her bedroom window standing wide open. Not sure if the thuggish rat was still in her house, she called 911. A unit was sent out to do a walkthrough with ol’ girl to see if this rotten crook was still in her house.

A woman is screaming a couple doors down from my house: On Dec. 4, at 7:17 a.m. a call came from a concerned resident, in the 3800 block of East 53Street, who wanted to remain anonymous. The resident reported that they could hear a woman screaming in a backyard of a house a few doors down. A car was sent out to check out just what the hell was going on to make this poor lady want to scream at the top of her lungs.  

A nut just crashed into dude’s car, jumped out ran away: Damn! This dude has got to be crazy. On Dec.4, around 7:53 a.m., a call came in from a driver, on his cell phone, who is trapped in his 2007 Dodge Nitro after some nut ball ran into him on East 116th near John Adams High School. Dude said that his door locks are jammed and he can’t get out to run and catch the bastard who just hit his car then got out and now he is walking away from the accident. The suspect is a tall, light skin dude wearing a red jacket and blue jeans. Minutes later a cruiser spotted Mr. Nut Case near 116thand Angeles Avenue, and picked his behind up. Dumb cluck!

Oooowe! A guy hit a fireplug and water was all over the place: On Dec. 4, around 7:49 a.m., a call came from a passing motorist reporting that a car had knocked over a fire plug on West 82nd near Denison Avenue and water is shooting all over the place. A unit was sent out see if anybody got hurt.

A big ol’ white bull dog jumped off a porch and he’s chasing folks: On Dec. 5, at 7:22 a.m., some folks who were mad as hell called in and reported that a big, white bulldog just ran off a porch in the 1000 block of East 125th and this mutt is chasing folks down the street. People are running everywhere. Ya’ll come get this hound before somebody puts a hot bullet in his butt.  A car was dispatched to determine, who in the hell left the gate open?

Mike says a rogue is casing his crib and waiting to break in: On Dec.5, at 7:19 a.m., a fella named Mike, who lives in the 7800 block of Magnolia Avenue, called and reported that a chump that he knows, a known thief in the neighborhood, is parked out in front of his crib waiting for him to leave. Mike also said that the reason he knows that this chump is a rogue is because he use to ride with this dude and he knows what they use to do. Whether Mike is just plain ol’ trippin’ or he is just paranoid because of karma, a car was sent out to see what was up with the suspicious car parked in front of Mike’s crib. Mike, you reap what you sow.

Oooh snaps! Some thug stole my ol’ school 1981 Chevy Caprice: Around 7:15 a.m., on Dec. 5, a dude named David who lives in the 6800 block of Colgate Avenue, got up and looked out the window and noticed that some thieving bastard had stolen his 1981 Chevy Caprice Classic. Pissed can’t even describe how Dave felt when he discovered that some chump stole his ride while he was sleep. A unit was sent out to check out what happened to Mike’s old school ride.

Damn car thieves done gone plum crazy stealing folk’s rides: On Dec.5, around 7:14 a.m., a call was received from a dude named Francisco who reported that some bonehead had stolen his 1997 Chevy Blazer from in front of his house located in the 800 block of West 52 Street. A unit was sent out to see who could have taken Francisco’s ride.

Some car thief just stole Shirley’s blue Honda: Ooooowe!  These crooks done gone stark raving mad stealing folk’s rides. On Dec. 4, around 7:58 a.m., a woman named Shirley, who lives in the 1700 block of West 69 Street, called in and reported that her cute lil’ blue Honda disappeared. A unit was sent out to see if they could help locate Miss Lady’s Honda.

Two cars just slammed into each other in front of Key Bank: Around 7:47 a.m., on Dec. 4, a security guard working in the Public Square and Ontario Avenue section of downtown called and reported that two cars had just slammed into each other right in front of the Key Bank Tower. A unit was sent out to investigate and to keep the traffic moving. Nobody was reported to be hurt.

Columbus

Dude ran way over to his girlfriend’s house after being shot: Somewhere the dots just don’t connect in this case, but it is what it is.  On Dec.3, at about 11:29 p.m., a fella, Austin, was in the area of Cleveland Avenue and East 14 Street when supposedly some other dude steeped out of nowhere and started blazing bullets at him for no apparent reason.  Mr. “A” was hit once in his upper torso. He took off and ran all the way to his woman’s house to get help.  He was taken to an area hospital and treated for his injuries. What’s up with this? Something just doesn’t sound right.

Brandon gonna do some time for shooting Tyshawn in the face: I bet these two got into a scrape probably over some ego mess. On Dec. 4, around 3:03 p.m., a caller from a house in the 2200 block of Atwood Terrace reported that there was a heated discussion between two hot heads, Brandon and Tyshawn. They said that Brandon, who is 18, got mad, pulled a pistol and shot Tyshawn in his face. You can bet that Mr. “B” gonna do some time because the cops arrested him not from where this happened and charged him with Felonious Assault. Here comes the judge!

Young dude walking down the street shot in his elbow by 2 thugs: On Dec. 8, around 4:30 p.m., a young fella said that he was walking in the 100 block of Schultz Avenue, minding his own business, when he heard a “Pop” that sounded like a shot from a small caliber pistol. He then realized that he was bleeding and one of the chumps shot him in his elbow. The who, for what and why are all unclear and the matter is being investigated. If you saw something, say something and help take a bite out of crime.