You got to be a low-down, dirty crook to break in somebody’s house on Christmas Eve and steal all of their presents. This is an unconscionable bastard and he should be in locked up forever. Back on Dec.24, at 4:30 p.m.

Criminal of the week:

Cleveland

A light skin dude is walking down E. 131 with somebody’s Television: On Jan. 15, around 9:41 p.m., a number of calls were received about a suspicious looking, tall, light skin dude walking down East 131 Street with somebody’s television.  A unit was sent out to try catching this possible live and in living color TV thief.

Oreana said her woman Theresa just slapped and beat her up: On Jan. 15, around 9:23 p.m., a call came from very distressed named woman Oreana, who lives in a house in the 1300 block of West 76 Street.  Ms “O” reported that the woman that she lives with just slapped her around and beat her behind.  Ore is sick and tired of this heffa putting hands in her face. A car was sent out to see if they couldn’t get to the bottom of why Lil’ Miss Tuffit likes beating on women. She could be charged with Domestic Violence and spend some time behind bars where she just might meet her match.  Now do it again!

A big, bodacious woman found her stolen car and took it back: On Jan. 15, around 10:15 pm, a woman named Rhonda, who lives in the 1800 block of Crawford Road, called police and reported that she had found her 1998 Ford that had been stolen and that she had taken it back from them damn thieves. She said that she just wanted to report that she recovered her car and ain’t no need for ya‘ll to continue to look for it.  A car was sent out to close out the missing auto report.

They’re on Clearview shooting like cowboys at the OK Corral: Around 9:25 p.m., on Jan. 15, a man who lives in the 16300 block of Clearview Avenue, called and reported that he had just heard about 10 or 15 shots coming from the next street, and it sounded like they were shooting in back of his garage. A car was sent out to see if they could locate the cowboys who were blasting like they were at the “OK Coral.”

Kim would like the police to go and check out her friend’s house: At 9:40 a.m. on Jan.15, a woman’s good friend, named Kim, called and requested that the police go over to her friend’s house, in the 2200 block of East 70, and check it out because she thinks her friend left it open. She told police that the friend told her she had to leave in a hurry going to the emergency room at the hospital and she may have left the door wide open.

Dude said landlord changed all the damn locks on his doors: Oooowee! Dude is sho-nuff pissed off to call the police on his landlord. On Jan 15, at 9:30 p.m., a fella called and reported that the landlord had changed all the locks on the doors were he lives. He wanted the police to come out and talk to him because he knows his rights. A unit was sent out to try and calm this heated situation.

Hoodlums are in the middle of E. 117 getting ready to fight: Around 9:24 p.m., on Jan. 15 there were several frantic calls from residents on East 117, south of Buckeye, reporting that there were about 15 or 20 hood rats that were in the middle of their street getting ready to fight. Although no weapons were seen at the time,that does not mean that they did not have them. Several cars were sent out to calm down this situation before it got over-heated and flames started to spread.

Police stopped a Pontiac with temp tags that belong to a Honda: These suckers think that they are so slick when they switch tags from one car to another.  Well! Guess what? Always watch that cop car that pulls up behind you. Bet you a dime to a dollar he is going to run your plate, especially if it is a temp tag – it is his training. On Jan.15, around 9:29 p.m., a copper rolled up behind some dummy in a silverPontiac, near 93 and Kinsman, with a temp tag that came back registered to a Honda. Ooops!  My bad!

James on Kennard Court said somebody stole his car: Around 9:26 p.m. on Jan. 15, a man named James, who was mad as hell and lives in the 3300 block of Kennard Ct., called in, reporting that some crook had stolen his car. A unit was sent out to try and help Jimmy locate his automobile.

Caller said that several shots were fired at Morris Black up on 110^th: 

Ya’ll know these punks have gone crazy with these guns. Around 9:43 p.m. on Jan 15, there were several calls received by residents near the Morris Black Projects on East 110 andWoodland. The callers said that these nuts have gone plum crazy shooting these guns. A car was sent out to check out what was going on.       

A big dude and a chick in a mini van robbed a fella at gunpoint: The nerve of these thugs! They must think that they are Bonnie andClyde. Around 9:33 p.m., on Jan. 15, a real pissed off dude called in and reported that he had just been robbed at gunpoint by an ol’ ruff-looking chick and a chump in a white mini van on West 25 andBarber Avenue. A unit was sent out to comb the area to see what they could turn up.

Somebody kicked in Mr. Walker’s door and he’s afraid to go in: Ha Mercy! Would ya’ll please hurry up and get over to Mr. Walker’s house, because the thug still might be in there, and he ain’t going in there without the police. On Jan.15, at 9:20 p.m., a frightened fella who lives in the 3600 block of East 138 Street, returned home to find that some thug had kicked his back door clean off the hinges. Mr. Man called 911 and said that he ain’t going in there without the police because the critter might still be inside. A car was sent out.

Deandre says Bobby has her stuff and she wants it back: On Jan. 15, around 9:42 p.m., a highly pissed off woman named Deandre on East 113 Street, called and reported that a fella, named Bobby, has some of her belongings and she is there to take it back, but she doesn’t want any trouble out of this clown, so would ya’ll please come out and assist me in getting my stuff back.  Lady “D” said that she will be waiting out in front of his house in a gold Honda. A unit was rushed out to assist her.

There’s a disabled White SUV at the I90 and West 25^th Entrance: Around 10:09 a.m. on Jan.15, there were several complaints from agitated motorists trying to enter I90 at the West 25 Street entrance ramp. They said that there was a white SUV blocking their way and they would like for someone to come out and clear the way.  A car was sent out to help this poor stranded owner who had broken down.

Help! EMS is at an emergency and the family is cussin them out: Ha Mercy! What in the world are the EMS techs supposed to do to help this family’s loved one if they keep interfering, threatening and cussin them out? “Call the police!” On Jan. 15, around 9:22 a.m., an EMS dispatcher notified Cleveland Police that a team had responded to a medical emergency on Superior Avenue and the victim’s family is interfering. The tech’s need assistance or they are going to flee for their safety. Several cars were rushed out to calm that excited situation.

Columbus

What’s up? Copland brothers fighting and shooting at each other: This really doesn’t make any sense!  On Jan. 11, around 11:26 p.m., a call came from a house in the 2600 block ofOsceola Avenue, reporting that the two Copeland brothers had gotten into a fight and that 35-year-old Nate shot his 31-year-old brother, Maurice. Mo was taken to a nearby hospital and treated for his non life-threatening injuries. The cops arrested Nate on the spot. What is up with these clowns?  

Sheriff Zach’s boys busted Jeffery on DV for whipping on Shavan: Jeff must be crazy; he’s been warned about this before. On Jan. 12, around 5 p.m., a call was received from a house on Rankin Avenue, reporting that a 22-year-old dude, named Jeffery Wyche, was there beating up his baby’s momma, Shavanna Goins, 21. A witness said that when Jeff went to pick up the couple’s 2-year-old daughter, Jeff pulled Sha-Sha into the car and drove off with them both. Jeffery is charged with Domestic Violence and Assault. Big dummy! He acted like this is the only woman left in the world.

Some fool busted Ron in his head with an iron pipe: On Jan. 12, around 4:50 p.m., a caller in the 2800 block ofVanderberg Avenue, called and reported that a 44-year-old fella, named Ron, just got beat up. The caller said that Ronald Nichos and another dude hit Ron in the head with an iron pipe that almost knocked him out. Ronney was taken to a near by hospital were his non life-threatening injuries were treated. Cops are looking for the fool that hit him in his head. If you saw something, say something so they can get this clown off the street. 

Cincinnati

Pervert out at 4 a.m., exposing himself to woman on Paxton: On Jan.16, around 4:00 in the morning, police received several calls from women who reported that some pervert had flashed them at the corner of Taylor and Paxton Avenues. The ladies said that a man was exposing himself to women driving by that intersection and running off into woods afterward. This is also the latest report of the flasher on the east side, where an Avondale man, named Darnell Dukes, was charged just last week for flashing women at least six times, exposing himself in incidents in 2001 near Hyde Park Square. They still have unsolved cases from 2010 in Oakley.

An anonymous tipster is getting paid for turning in bank robber:On Jan.16, an anonymous tipster led the CPD to charge a 28-year-old Gregory Kliein with at least two counts of bank robbery. Greg is the prime suspect in robbing a Heritage Bank branch one day earlier. The cops say that they believe that he also robbed the same bank back in December. Mr. Klein was arrested walking along Dixie Highway near Kyles Lane in Fort Wright. Police were in the area following up on a report that Klein was staying at a nearby motel. I told ya’ll, if you know something, say something and get paid. Get that money like he did.

Rotten rogue robs family of all their Christmas stuff: You got to be a low-down, dirty crook to break in somebody’s house on Christmas Eve and steal all of their presents. This is an unconscionable bastard and he should be in locked up forever. Back on Dec.24, at 4:30 p.m., it was reported that a rogue had kicked in the back door of a house onSouth Roys Avenue, and took all the family’s gifts. Please! If you know something say something and call Crime Stoppers and get paid.