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Police Blotter

BOB FERGUSON | 8/21/2013, 8:31 a.m.

Crime of the week:

Cleveland, Ohio

All hell done broke loose between families at a wedding reception: Please hurry up! On Aug. 17, at 10:57 p.m., all hell broke lose between families when there was an apparent squabble that erupted at a wedding reception at the VFW hall. A 911 call was received asking to get some somebody out there quick because the family members are getting ready to rumble. A car was sent out to calm things down before the state of affairs really got hot and spoiled a wonderful evening of “Here comes the bride.”

Cleveland Ohio

Aw snap! Somebody just fired four or five shots on East 40th: At 10:55 p.m., on Aug. 17, a nervous caller in the 2300 block of East 40th Street, reported that they had just heard somebody fire about four or five gun shots and they are concerned about what is going on. A car was sent out to see what was going on among these trigger-happy hoodlums.

Miss Brown’s baby’s daddy, Silas, is trying to break down her door: O, snap! This fool has gone stone crazy and he’s beating on the door like he’s lost his damn mind. On Aug. 17, at 10:27 p.m. a call was received from a woman name Miss Brown who lives upstairs in house in the 2900 block of East 118th Street. She reported that her baby’s daddy, Silas Morris, was trying to knock the door down. Moments later another call was received and said this fool had gotten inside and was fighting everybody. A car was rushed out to make this nut slow down before he takes a beat-down and is hauled off to jail.

Security guard has his hands full trying to stop a couple from fighting: On Aug. 17, at 10:09 p.m., a dispatcher radioed for any car in the area of the 16100 block of Lakeshore Avenue to assist a security guard, who is in the back parking lot with a couple who are in a knock-down drag-out fight, and he’s got his hands full, trying to break them up. A car was sent over to referee this slugfest and tell them both that a night in the slammer would settle this whole thing.

4 Black dudes and 2 White dudes on the porch keeping up a ruckus: On Aug. 17, at 10:09 p.m., I guess a neighbor in the 8800 block of Jeffries Avenue got sick and damn tired of the loud “A” conversation that six dudes were having, and decided to drop a dime on their butts for keeping up a fuss and talking smack. A car was sent out to tell these chumps to either knock it off or take it inside.

A woman on West 36th says her ex-boyfriend is there and won’t leave: Some chumps refuse to realize when “Love Don’t Live There Anymore.” On Aug. 17, at 10:33 p.m., a woman who lives in the upstairs of a house in the 3800 block of West 36th Street, called and reported that her ex-boyfriend was at her house, acting a butt-hole, and refusing to leave. A unit was sent out to make this idiot chill out and take his behind home.