Police Blotter

BOB FERGUSON | 8/21/2013, 8:31 a.m.
Crime of the week: CLEVELAND -- All hell done broke loose between families at a wedding reception: Please hurry up! ...

A 38-year-old chick on Carl Avenue is trying to fight her momma: At 10:34 p.m., on Aug. 17, a caller in the 6300 block of Carl Avenue reported that a 38-year-old woman was at that location trying to fight her own momma. A unit was sent to attempt to settle this momma and dissident daughter matter.

The front door of a vacant house on East 82nd is wide open: At 10:35 p.m., on Aug. 17, a concerned neighbor in the 2500 block of East 82nd Street called and reported just passing by a vacant house on their street and front door is wide open. A car was sent out to check just what the hell was going on in this empty property. Probably some crack heads were hard at work.

Ol’ lady on East 164th says somebody keeps walking past her window: “What in the heck is this chump up to?” was the question an ol’ lady had on Aug. 17, at 10:47 p.m., when she called the police and reported that some chump keeps walking past her window and she’s wondering what in the hell is up with him. A car was sent out to see what this clown was up to and to ease granny’s nerves about this shady character.

Woman and man are fighting in the middle of the street on Maryland: At 10:56 p.m., on Aug. 17, a concerned caller on Maryland Avenue, called and reported that a man and woman were slugging it out and fighting like cats and dogs in the middle of the street. Ya’ll better get somebody out here fast before one of them gets knocked the hell out. A unit was sent out to investigate.

There’s some strange-looking dude sitting on our porch: Who in hell is this strange-looking clown sitting on our front porch? On Aug.17, at 10:07 p.m., a family that lives on East 46th Street looked out onto their porch and there sat some strange-looking dude, just sitting there. Not having a clew who this nut was, they called the cops. A car was sent out to see if they could help ol’ boy find his way home.

Damn young’uns are playing basketball in the middle of Grandview: I don’t know where these kids get off, playing basketball in the middle of the street at night, and they won’t move when they see a car coming. They seem to have the attitude, “we run this.” That’s OK, but get your behind out of the street when cars are trying to pass by. On Aug. 17, at 10:08 p.m., there were calls from motorists and residents complaining about some ol’ ornery kids playing basketball in the middle of Grandview Avenue. A unit was sent out to break up the game which was in overtime.

An old couple ran out of gas on a bad street and they’re scared as hell: Ya’ll get somebody out here right away to help us, because this ain’t the best place for two ol’ folks to have ran out of gas. On Aug. 17, at 10:50 p.m., an old couple damn near crapped in their pants after their grey Chevy Equinox ran out of gas in what they believed was a dangerous position or neighborhood. A car was sent out before the ol’ couple freaked out and had a nervous breakdown. Keep that tank on full when you’re traveling outside your safe zone, wherever that is.