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Duffer's Alley

Duffer's Alley Week of August 6, 2014

Golf is probably the most addictive game on the planet. Let me give you an example of just how addictive it is. Last Saturday, a group of guys went to play at a course in Geauga County. The forecast was for thunderstorms and the sky was pitch black when they got into their cars. Do you think this weather fact stopped them? Heck no, like soldiers on a mission, they drove faithfully to the course. Forty minutes later, they arrived, and unloaded their bags, went into the clubhouse and paid their green fees. Disregarding the cashiers warning that storms were coming in from the west, they headed straight to the first hole. The one concession they made to the weather was cancelling their routine of going to the driving range to warm up. As they stood on the first tee, they looked to the northwest and observed the darkening sky. The clouds were so ominous that if Noah had been around, he may have started gathering the animals two by two. But for our brave foursome, the clouds might as well have been sunbeams. Each member of our foursome (whose names we're withholding to avoid embarrassment) went to the tee and hit a towering drive, drives that would have made Tiger Woods jealous. As they drove off for their second shots, the rain drops began to fall. No big deal, rain suits and umbrellas came out of the golf bags and they were off and running. They played the second hole without any weather drama. As they made their way to the third hole, however, things began to change. The drops were coming with a little more frequency and the wind began picking up. Now, the clubhouse was still in sight and it was just a short drive away. But our brave band, in spite of every meteorologist in the region warning that severe weather was in the area, decided that the weather was going to blow over. Big mistake! They finished the third hole, then the fourth and the fifth. By now they were at the farthest point away from the clubhouse, and at that moment, Mother Nature made a decision for them. As they approached the sixth hole, which puts you down in a valley, the sky turned pitch black and the rain came as if someone had put the shower on blast, and it was at this point that our group of wayfarers concluded, " it was either time to go in or drown." Of course by now, the rain had become a torrential thunderstorm. The only things missing were houses and cars floating past as the fairways and bunkers began to fill with water. The cart paths turned into little rivers and our guys were rapidly second guessing themselves for thinking that the weather warnings were meant for people other than them. Once they made it back to the clubhouse, they sat on the porch and convinced themselves that the storm was passing by. After an hour of rain with no let up, they reluctantly realized that the worst thing that could happen to a golfer was happening to them. They would have to get a rain check. How depressing. Fortunately for them, Sunday dawned bright and sunny, and first thing after kissing their wives and saying goodbye to the babies and dogs, they were right back at the golf course. So is golf addictive? Nope. It just causes you do strange things.